0001|                           SENATE BILL 991
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0002|     43rd legislature - STATE OF NEW MEXICO - first session, 1997
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0003|                            INTRODUCED BY
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0004|                              ROD ADAIR
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0005|     
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0006|                                   
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0007|     
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0008|                                   
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0009|     
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0010|                                AN ACT
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0011|     RELATING TO WIGS; REQUIRING ATTORNEYS TO WEAR PERUKES,
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0012|     PERIWIGS OR BIGWIGS, DEPENDING UPON HOURLY FEES OR OTHER
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0013|     CHARGES.
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0014|     
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0015|     BE IT ENACTED BY THE LEGISLATURE OF THE STATE OF NEW MEXICO:
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0016|          Section 1.  ATTORNEYS--WIGS IN COURT.--
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0017|               A.  All attorneys appearing in New Mexico courts
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0018|     shall meet a minimum dress code prescribed by the court that
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0019|     shall include, if the attorney is charging an hourly fee, the
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0020|     wearing of perukes, periwigs or bigwigs, as follows:
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0021|                    (1)  if the attorney is charging one hundred
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0022|     fifty dollars ($150) or less per hour, the attorney shall at
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0023|     all times wear a peruke of a size sufficient to cover the top
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0024|     of the attorney's head, which shall modestly extend on the
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0025|     sides not less than four nor more than six inches, and in the
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0001|     back not less than seven nor more than nine inches.  The court
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0002|     shall have discretion to determine the meaning of "modestly"
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0003|     for its own purposes;
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0004|                    (2)  if the attorney is charging more than one
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0005|     hundred fifty dollars ($150) but less than three hundred
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0006|     dollars ($300) per hour, the attorney shall wear a periwig of a
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0007|     size, with respect to the top of the attorney's head, as
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0008|     provided in Paragraph (1) of this subsection, but which shall
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0009|     generously extend on the sides to a more elegant extent, as
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0010|     determined by the court if it doesn't have anything more
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0011|     pressing to do, and  in the back shall reach the attorney's
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0012|     neck; or
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0013|                    (3)  if the attorney is charging more than
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0014|     three hundred dollars ($300) per hour (God help him, her or
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0015|     it), the attorney shall wear an appurtenance covering his pate
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0016|     to the full extent hereinabove provided (on two separate
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0017|     occasions which aren't going to be repeated again, so just
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0018|     figure it out) but of such grand and magnificent length as to
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0019|     be ycleped and referred to as a bigwig, which shall accordingly
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0020|     extend on all sides in sufficient length to reach just about
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0021|     anywhere, but at least the shoulders.
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0022|               B.  Perukes, periwigs and bigwigs shall be affixed
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0023|     to the head with pins, velcro, horse glue, bat guano or any
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0024|     other suitable fastening agent.
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0025|               C.  Perukes, periwigs and bigwigs shall be white or
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0001|     light silver-gray in color, depending on lighting and mood,
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0002|     with tight, powdered curls and ringlets, until otherwise
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0003|     ordered by the supreme court or the dictates of fashion. 
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0004|     Second-hand, third-hand--even foreign wigs (such as will soon
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0005|     become available from Hong Kong, and that's a hint)--may be
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0006|     used, but must be cleaned and deloused once in each lifetime;
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0007|     provided that cleaning and delousing may be waived in case of
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0008|     hardship, upon application and appearance, wearing the said
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0009|     wig, before the supreme court.
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0010|               D.  Attorneys who don't charge hourly fees are
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0011|     either dead or on a contingency fee high.  They might as well
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0012|     be bigwigs, too, except if dead.
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0013|                              
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