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A MEMORIAL
DESIGNATING THE NEW MEXICO INSTITUTE OF MINING AND TECHNOLOGY
AS THE HOME OF THE MECHANICAL ROADRUNNER.
WHEREAS, the world-renowned Wile E. Coyote (road-runner
digestus) has endeavored in countless attempts to apprehend
the roadrunner; and
WHEREAS, the roadrunner (hot rodicus supersonica) is the
state bird of the great state of New Mexico; and
WHEREAS, the hungry Wile E. Coyote continues to chase
the roadrunner across southwestern highways equipped with
tools exclusively provided by the Acme corporation, which is
clearly not a New Mexico-based company; and
WHEREAS, although Wile E. Coyote's attempts to catch and
devour the noble roadrunner always fail, they constitute an
intolerable assault on a bird that is held dearly in the
hearts and minds of the people of this state; and
WHEREAS, the New Mexico institute of mining and
technology (smartius pantsius universitatus) is famous
throughout the world in engineering and science; and
WHEREAS, the president of the university, Dr. Daniel H.
Lopez (largus bossaloticus), always pulls for the underdog,
or under-coyote, in this case; and
WHEREAS, the New Mexico institute of mining and
technology is the perfect venue to design, test and
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manufacture a mechanical roadrunner that will continue to
evade this vicious, although perennially unsuccessful,
predator, while at the same time sparing our state bird from
the indignities of constant harassment; and
WHEREAS, since cockfighting has been outlawed, these
attacks on our state bird are no longer culturally
appropriate;
NOW, THEREFORE, BE IT RESOLVED BY THE SENATE OF THE
STATE OF NEW MEXICO that the New Mexico institute of mining
and technology be designated as the home of the mechanical
roadrunner, and that all resources necessary to accomplish
this lofty goal be appropriated for the college of
engineering's use; and
BE IT FURTHER RESOLVED that this mechanical roadrunner
must meet or exceed the demanding standards of the New Mexico
institute of mining and technology, while using only green or
red chile as a power source; and
BE IT FURTHER RESOLVED that New Mexico institute of
mining and technology students and faculty, confident in
their ability to test explosives, shall in one fell swoop
accomplish what the misguided coyote could not; and
BE IT FURTHER RESOLVED that the New Mexico institute of
mining and technology's admissions standards are too high to
accept the coyote for enrollment; and
BE IT FURTHER RESOLVED that this is an endeavor worthy
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of affixing the great seal of the state of New Mexico; and
BE IT FURTHER RESOLVED that copies of this memorial be
transmitted to the board of regents of New Mexico institute of
mining and technology in lieu of the board of directors of the
Acme company.